Within Reach
by Jennifer Collins
Summary: Carol counts her losses and tries to move on.
1. Chapter 1: Uncomfortable

Chapter 1: Uncomfortable

No one said anything in the truck as they drove away from Grady Memorial. Carol sat in the back, avoiding anyone's gaze, trying not to wince every time they hit a bump in the road.

Daryl was next to her, his face buried in her chest. Her bad arm rested on his shoulder, her fingers threaded through his hair. The good arm was wrapped around his still heaving body, her hand vigorously rubbing between his shoulder blades.

She wasn't sure how long they'd been stuffed in the back of that truck, only that it was long enough that all the dried up tears had left matching stains on the faces of her family. Someone was still sniffling, she was pretty sure it was Carl. She craned her neck away to keep from checking, cringing silently when her gaze caught on the lock of blonde hair that had fallen out from under the sheet that had carefully been laid out across from her.

Fresh tears stung at her eyes and she squeezed them shut, sucking in a breath as she felt rough fingers tighten on her waist.

XXXXX

A flash of blonde hair came into focus through her blurred vision as the younger woman shook her head ever so slightly.

She frowned at the steady increase in the tone of the two voices, one familiar and the other not. She wasn't sure what exactly was being said, only that she didn't like what she was hearing. She stifled a groan, laying her head to the side and peering through narrowed eyes until the older woman disappeared into the hall.

The young girl sighed, coming closer to the bed, her eyes widening when she realized her companion was awake. "Carol?"

Carol blinked a few times, everything was still fuzzy. "Beth?"

The girl grinned, closing her hand around the older woman's tiny wrist. "Yeah, it's me."

"Where-where are we?"

"We're at Grady Memorial in Atlanta. You were in an accident. You.. you got hit by a car and you were brought in. Do you remember?"

Carol shook her head, still feeling disoriented as she struggled to prop herself up on her elbows and wincing at the sharp stab of pain in her ribs. "It wasn't an accident. They hit me. Two men, dressed in police uniforms."

"Oh." Beth lowered her eyes. "Well, anyway you're going to be fine."

Carol gasped, suddenly feeling panicked. "Daryl! Daryl, where's Daryl?"

Beth frowned. "He's not here. But he's still alive, out there somewhere."

"No, no.. he was here," Carol insisted. She coughed loudly and Beth patted her back. "We were here, looking for you. And Noah…."

The younger girl's head snapped up, her hand freezing on Carol's shoulder. "You have Noah?"

"Beth… what is this place?"

Beth shook her head. "It doesn't matter. We're getting out of here."

Carol sniffed, her hands shaking under the weight of her body.

Beth smiled, her grip on the older woman tightening. "Trust me. I've seen it happen."

XXXXX

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." Gabriel's voice drifted over the wind.

No one wanted to look at Maggie, or at one another for that matter and they all scattered slowly away, yet still close.

Daryl was huffing softly, the plain anguish on his face reminding her of a wounded animal. "We had her," he murmured, fists tightening as he choked on a sob. "We fuckin' had 'er. She was right there."

"I know," Carol whispered, her hand sliding over his bicep. "I know."

"Guess you were right. We don' get ta save no one anymore."

She shook her head fervently. "No. I know I said that, but I was wrong. She saved me."

He sniffed, stepping forward the short distance to close the space between them and nearly head-butting her as he leaned his forehead against hers. "Thank God for that."

He threw his arms around her, crushing her to his chest. "I can't- don't know what I would do without ya," he mumbled into her hair. "I fuckin'… I need ya."

She slowly wrapped her arms around his frame. "Me too," she whispered weakly.

"'M sorry…" He croaked.

"Hmmm?" She lifted her head.

"If this is uncomfortable."

"No," she said softly, leaning further into his embrace. "No, it's…. it's nice."

He lowered his head, burying his face in her neck. "Yeah," he said after awhile.


	2. Chapter 2: Someplace New

Chapter 2: Someplace New

It was Rick who suggested that they would have to find someplace to stay the night. Glenn was firm in insisting that their camp would be away from where they'd buried her and everyone was in silent agreement.

They came upon a house, it was large even from the outside and the corner of Carol's mouth twitched when Carl idly wondered out loud if it was a mansion.

"There ain't no mansions in these parts," Daryl told him. "But this is sure as hell the biggest house I've ever seen."

Carl took Judith from Rick as Rick nodded to Daryl, Sasha, and Michonne. Abraham followed them out with a raised rifle.

Carol sighed, leaning her head back and wishing she were well enough to help them clear the space. She craned her neck trying to see if she could tell what was going on inside.

Tyreese gently patted her knee and nodded in understanding. "They'll be fine. Best thing we can do is sit tight and let them work."

It seemed like forever before they finally heard Rick's whistle, signaling that all was clear.

They moved single file out of the truck, with Glenn and Tara having to carry Maggie who still hadn't spoken a word since Grady.

Carol moved slowly, her hand gripping the door and she sighed in relief when Tyreese held out a hand to her. He gripped her waist, preparing to lift when Daryl bumped him out of the way. "I got it," he huffed, sounding slightly irritated.

Tyreese shrugged, holding his hands up in surrender and backing off.

"There's one bedroom in the back, four upstairs. Living room's pretty big and there's a den behind the staircase. Kitchen's not well stocked so if you need anything take it from the truck," Rick advised.

Daryl moved to help her up the steps into the house. Carol squinted in the almost dark, trying to get her bearings in the new space. She felt Daryl's hand at the small of her back.

"She ain't makin' it up them stairs," he said gruffly, watching the others claim their rooms. "Carol gets the one down here."

Rick nodded.

Daryl lifted her bag onto his shoulder. "C'mon."

She silently followed him into the back bedroom. If he needed to distract himself with fussing over her, she would concede.

He set her backpack on the floor, carefully unpacking her things. "Seems like an okay place to get comfortable for the night."

She hummed her agreement.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'd feel better stayin' close, keepin' a eye on ya. That alright?"

She nodded, idly wrapping her arms around herself. "I wouldn't mind the company."

"Fine. I'll take tha floor."

Her head snapped up in protest, but he held up a hand. "You need ya rest. I ain't arguin."

She sat on the bed wordlessly, the springs creaking under her weight. With a sigh, she struggled to get her jacket off. After a few agonizing moments, she finally managed it on her own with a feeling of triumph, then frowned.

"Whassa matter?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"It's just… can you help me for a minute?"

He stood up, moving a couple of steps towards her. "What ya need?"

She averted her eyes, slightly embarrassed. "It's just… I can't reach to unhook my bra."

XXXXX

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" The younger girl wondered as she peered in the open doorway. "We're going home!"

Carol sighed. "I can't… I can't reach to close my bra."

Beth smiled and walked over. "I can give you a hand with that."

Carol stiffened.

"Come on, it's nothing I haven't seen before. I have them too, you know."

"It's not that…. " Carol's voice trailed off.

Beth sat behind her on the bed, noticing the woman's scar-streaked skin. She quickly clicked the clasp. "Well, we all have something about our bodies that we're not proud of," she said softly.

Carol raised an eyebrow.

Beth smiled, lifting the hem of her shift.

Carol's eyes widened as she peered at the small butterfly tattoo, just visible on the girl's hip over her lowcut jeans. With a closer look, she realized that the purple on one wing bled out over the outline. She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I was fifteen when I got it. I was so mad when Daddy said no. Did it at the mall, without him knowing. And with a fake ID too." She rolled her eyes. "I probably should've checked who I was getting it from before I let them stick me with a needle. Pretty dumb, huh?"

Carol shook her head, amused.

"Anyway… don't tell my sister. No one knows, not even Maggie."

"It's our secret," Carol swore. "By the way… I haven't had a chance to say… I'm sorry about your father."

Beth's eyes lowered as she fidgeted with the sleeve of her sweater. "Thank you."

XXXXX

"You serious?" His face flushed.

Carol sighed. "Come on just… just help me."

"A-alright." He awkwardly sat behind her on the bed. "C'mere."

She felt his big fingers fumbling with the tiny clasp and then heard the loud click as it unfastened.

"Hmmm.. that's the fastest I ever managed ta get one'a them damn things off," he muttered.

Carol grinned slightly. "Good to know," she said, looking at him over her shoulder.

His face flushed deeper. "Stop."

She nudged him playfully, moving to stand up.

"Where d'ya think yer goin?" He asked as she tried to move past him.

"Um, to the bathroom?"

"Don't think I'm lettin' ya outside by yourself, like this."

He took her hand, leading her out of the bedroom. They moved slowly, trying to keep quiet as they walked past the sleeping forms of Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita, all sprawled across the various furniture in the living room.

She leaned heavily on him as she went to take a step down the concrete stairs leading to the outside, trying to balance the door at the same time.

"Fuck this," he muttered, scooping her up into his arms.

She looked up at him, settling into his embrace as he carried her over the threshold. Her eyes caught his and she was met with a flicker of pain. She looked away from the sudden burst of anguish across his features. "What is it?" She asked as he carefully set her down.

"N-nothin," he mumbled, the ghost of a whimper on his lips. "It's nothin." He sniffed. "Hold on. I'ma take a piss too."


	3. Chapter 3: Monsters

Chapter 3: Monsters

"Did you tell my sister about your daughter yet?"

Carol looked up from her perch at the window, finding a wide-eyed Lizzie absently playing with her braid.

"No," she said honestly.

"Good," the young girl said. "Don't. I like the idea of us having secrets that no one else knows."

Carol turned to look back out the window.

"You didn't have to kill her you know."

Her head snapped back around. "What?"

Now Lizzie was chewing on her bottom lip. "Well, if you didn't kill her, then someone else did, right? When she turned? Was it Daryl?"

"That's enough talk for tonight," Carol said quietly, her lips pressed tightly together.

"I know she must have turned," the girl pressed. "You said she died. That's what happens when we all die, right? We change? So she changed. But not into a monster."

"I said enough!" Carol snapped.

XXXX

She awoke with a start, the image of the young girl's pouty face still fresh in her mind as the tears ran down her cheeks.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms were around her and she struggled to break free.

"Hay, hay," he murmured, gently patting her hair. "Sssh, it's jus' me. You were havin a nightmare, or somethin."

"Daryl," she breathed, pressing a hand to her chest, which felt heavy.

"It's alright. I'm right here," he soothed, slowly crawling in between the sheets next to her.

She clutched at him tightly, her breath coming in fast gasps.

He pulled her into his chest, holding her tight.

"It doesn't stop," she whispered into his shirt.

"Sssh, you're alright. It's okay," he whispered back. "I got ya."

It took her a moment to realize that he was rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Thank you." She wiped at the sweat on her face, tilting her head to look up at him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He settled back into the pillows, one arm behind his head and the other still holding her close to his body.

She decided that if he was more comfortable on the bed with her than on the floor that she wouldn't make him move. She nestled closer to him, her injured arm draped across his body, her hand resting on his chest. The last thing she remembered was the gentle motion of his hand on her back as his movements slowed and his light snores as he drifted off into sleep. Then sleep came for her too.

XXXXX

Carol watched as Rick slowly lowered Judith into the stream. She slapped her hands happily against the water, giggling. Daryl's mouth was twitching as he gazed at them, a faraway look in his eyes.

Carol sighed and splashed some water on her face and neck.

Tyreese was next to her and he checked to see if she wanted help washing her arms. She nodded gratefully, letting him pour some water on her skin through his cupped hands.

Carl was sitting in the middle of the steady stream, shirtless, his pale skin glistening in the afternoon sun. He was oblivious to Michonne, who was

standing behind him with a mischievous grin on her face. Without warning, she threw her arms into the water and pushed in his direction, causing a large splash right in his face.

"Hey!" He shouted as he lost his balance and tumbled back into the water.

The others laughed and Carl angrily retaliated, splashing water all over her and soaking her shirt. She fought back and soon more people were joining in, splashing and shrieking.

Daryl chuckled, scooping his hands in the water and nudging her with his wet fingers.

She stood up abruptly, crying out at the pain and resisting when both Daryl and Tyreese moved to steady her. "I got it!" she snapped, stalking off angrily.

"Hay!" He called, jogging after her. "You don't go runnin' off by yourself in your condition."

She stopped, whirling around to face him with a glare.

"What's on your mind?" He wondered, hands on his hips.

"I just don't get it. How you all can be… just playing around like it's nothing, when-when…. Beth… and the girls…" She trailed off, crouching low on the ground and burying her face in her hands.

He slumped down, kneeling in front of her. "Look at me."

She raised her face to him, finding her own pain mirrored in his eyes.

"I get it. Ya don't wanna talk about it."

She shook her head.

He sighed. "Look, you don't gotta tell me what happened in the woods with those girls, but dammit Carol, you gotta tell someone."

"I did," she said softly, choking on a sob. "I told Beth."

XXXXX

Beth froze, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open in stunned silence. She dropped the roll of gauze she'd been holding and Carol watched through teary eyes as it rolled across the floor, spreading a white trail under the bed.

"I-I don't know what to say," the younger woman admitted, reaching for a fresh bandage.

"You don't have to say anything," Carol responded dryly. "I'm a monster."

"No." Beth shook her head vehemently. "You're not a monster." She leaned in closer, sitting on the edge of the bed as she dabbed at Carol's shoulder with antiseptic. "And I'm real sorry about what happened to those girls. And to you."

Carol nodded, sniffing slightly.

"We've all got to do what we have to, now," she continued, taping a clean bandage over her friend's wounds. "It sucks, but that's what it is. Doesn't make you a bad person."

She pulled Carol's hospital gown closed, her hand lingering on her arm. "I killed two of them, you know. Two of the cops here," she whispered. "They were the real monsters."

Carol looked up at her. "I killed Karen and David."

Beth nodded in understanding. "And Glenn is alive. Daryl's alive… Maggie, Michonne." She settled back into the bed next to Carol, her head resting on her good shoulder for a moment.

"Some people we don't get to save. But the others, the ones that we do… They're the ones we have to live for. Right?"

"Right," Carol whispered, stroking her fingers through the girl's long blonde ponytail.

XXXXX

Daryl's body tensed.

"Nobody ever says her name anymore. But she was here."

"Yeah," Daryl murmured. "She was."

"And you're right, she was strong. Much stronger than I was." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You're strong too. A lot stronger than you give yourself credit for." He put an arm around her shoulders. "C'mon. Let's get back inside."

Carol nodded, letting him lead her to the house.

"I'm an ass," Daryl said quietly, once she'd shut the bedroom door behind them.

She sat down gingerly on the bed, looking at him with a confused expression on her face.

"When we escaped the prison. I was with her. And I was a dick to her. That's why I can't say her name," he whispered gruffly.

"Daryl-"

He shook his head, crouching down in front of her. "You said I'm a man. I ain't a man. I'm a monster."

"Bullshit. She didn't care about any of that. She believed in you… and so do I," she said quietly.

He sniffled, ducking his head into her lap.

She placed her good hand on his head, sifting through his hair. "We have to live for each other," she whispered.

He raised his head to look at her. "Beth said that."

A weak smile spread across her cheeks. "Yeah, she said that to me too."


	4. Chapter 4: Running

"We'll have to hunt," Rick said in a quiet voice.

Carol's eyes widened and she felt slightly panicked.

"It's just… we're running out of supplies in the truck. Glenn says Maggie's not ready to leave this place and we don't know how long we're going to be here."

Daryl nodded, his hand subtly nudging hers at her side. She slowly threaded her fingers through his, squeezing briefly for a moment.

"Abraham says he's comin," Rick continued. "But I need you."

"Alright," He replied, with a wary look in her direction.

"Thank you," Rick said before turning away.

"I need you too," Carol cried in a strangled whisper.

"I'ma be right back," Daryl told her as he lifted his crossbow onto his shoulder. "Just sit tight."

"Don't you worry," Tyreese piped in, moving to her side and placing a hand on her back. "I'll keep a close eye on her."

The tension that followed was so thick that Carol could almost taste it, clogging her throat. An expression she couldn't quite recognize changed his features for a fraction of a second before he grunted in reply and moved to follow Rick.

"Stay safe," she croaked.

He looked over his shoulder at her one last time before he disappeared out the door, a lopsided half-smile on his face.

She sighed as she watched them retreat. "I'm totally useless."

Tyreese shook his head.

"I should be out there with them," she insisted. "Not standing here doing nothing."

He shrugged. "Maybe you've earned it to sit down for once. Anyway, you won't be much help outside til you're all healed. Best thing you can do for now is listen to Daryl and sit tight."

He bent down to pick Judith up off the floor. "You gonna help me feed this baby, or you gonna just stand there all day?"

XXXXX

Beth's knees buckled a little under her weight as she helped her get into the wheelchair.

"I'm totally useless," Carol grumbled. "I can't even walk. What if we have to run?"

Beth shook her head. "It won't be like that. "

Carol frowned. "You really trust Dawn? All these people?"

"No. But I trust Rick. I trust Daryl. I trust our people." Beth sighed. "I get it, you're scared. I am too. But it's going to be just fine, you'll see. Damn it, Carol! You're going to make it out of here and then you're going to take care of yourself and you're gonna get healed!"

She slipped her hand into Carol's. "And then, once you're all better, you can reclaim your role in the group. Whatever you want it to be."

Carol sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her good hand.

"Aw, shoot," Beth said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile. "It's not that," she said softly. "It's just… you've never reminded me so much of your father as you do right now."

XXXXX

Carol looked around the table at the faces of her family. It had been so long since they'd sat at a real table to eat dinner together, and now most of them were here. Glenn and Maggie hadn't come out of that second floor room in two days, and Abraham and his people were sprawled across the floor in the living room with plates on their laps, but there were here nonetheless.

She sat back, wiping her fingers with a paper napkin and listening to the sounds of Daryl's loud chewing beside her.

Sasha rose up first, collecting plates as she did. She nodded to Carol. "When was the last time you changed that bandage?"

XXXXX

She sat down heavily on the bed, with Daryl kneeling on the floor in front of her. They both looked up when they heard a soft knock.

"I can help," Sasha said softly from her perch in the doorway.

"I got it," Daryl started, but Sasha shook her head.

"I want to."

"Alright," He moved to sit next to Carol on the bed.

Sasha set her bag down on the floor, rummaging around for some tape and scissors. "Bob showed me a few things before… anyway, he's got some good stuff in this bag."

Carol lowered her eyes, watching her friend work. "Still ugly, huh?"

The girl smiled, dabbing at the wound with some medicine before covering it back up. "Well, it sure ain't pretty, not yet. But it's definitely healing."

Carol returned the smile. "What's the prognosis, doc?"

"You'll live."

"How's ya ribs?" Daryl interrupted.

Carol shrugged. "I can finally breathe without being in excruciating pain. That's something, right?"

Sasha stood. "You'll be good as new in no time." She picked her bag up off the floor. "Goodnight."

"G'night," Carol called after her.

She could feel him looking at her even though she wasn't looking at him. "What?"

"Gettin better an better every day."

"Yep. Pretty soon I'll be able to run again," she said.

"You runnin with us, or you runnin away from us?"

She turned her head to look at him, only then realizing how close he was sitting to her. For some reason, that realization made her heart start pounding in her ears.

"We never finished our talk. 'Bout how things're changin and all." He shrugged. "Things changed pretty permanently now."

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So… you stayin?"

Her throat felt tight and she swallowed thickly. "With… you?" She asked, with round, wide eyes.

He nodded. "Everythin we lost, everythin we been through. It's just.. I can't…" He sucked in a breath. "I can't lose you too."

She raised her hands to either side of his face, her fingers dipping into the hairs at the back of his neck. Her head moved closer, until she could feel his breath, shaky on her face. His eyes widened with something like panic. "Carol, wait…." He murmured right before her lips pressed firmly against his.

For a second, he froze, his shoulders tense as he whimpered into her mouth. Then his hand was at the back of her head and he was clumsily pulling her into his lap, eyes closing as he pushed his tongue sloppily into her mouth.

She ran her hands through his hair, one hand clutching roughly at the back of his head, the nails on the other scraping against his scalp and he groaned softly as he leaned into her touch, his own hands roaming up and down her arms.

They were both breathing heavily when they pulled apart. She gazed at him intently, her hands still caught in his hair. His eyes were wide, his lower lip trembling as his hands gripped her firmly in place on his lap.

"I'm staying," she whispered.


	5. Chapter 5: Boys

Warning: This chapter contains a fairly graphic depiction of past abuse and implied rape. Read at your own risk.

She shifted in his lap, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He looked up at her adoringly, holding her close. "Are you okay?" She whispered, her hand lingering on his neck.

He nodded. "Somethin you wanna say to me?"

"I have feelings for you, and I've had them for awhile?" She said quietly.

He swallowed hard, his hands shaking where he was still holding onto her arms. "Are we doin this?" He whispered.

"Do-do you want to?" She asked, tilting his head back and leaning closer.

"I'd be lyin if I said it never crossed my mind….still, I kiss ya now, I might never stop," he said, his voice husky.

"Kiss me," she breathed.

His lips touched hers, tentatively at first and then more passionately as she grabbed at his hair. He was still sloppy, but he was honest, kissing her with a needy, desperate intensity that made her melt right into him.

She placed a thigh on either side of him, straddling his hips, her knees pressing into the mattress. He held her steady as he kissed her, one hand firmly at her back, the other somewhat shyly grabbing at her ass.

He moved his mouth down her throat, nipping gently at her flesh. She thought of telling him not to leave any marks on her skin, but the way he was kissing and sucking her neck felt so good that she let out a soft moan instead.

He unconsciously bucked up against her at the sound and she could feel him, hard between her legs. She ground down against him, slowly pushing his vest off his shoulders and beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt.

He groaned softly as he kissed lower, trying to get at more bare skin, using his chin to push her tank top out of the way and the prickly hairs on his face tickled the tops of her breasts.

Somehow, he'd managed to get the clasp of her bra undone and the loud click took her back to another time, when rough hands had pawed at her breasts until it hurt and she'd cursed her body for being so responsive as her nipples hardened.

She shook her head, focusing on the feel of his lips as he gently kissed and sucked her skin, his tongue lapping at her nipples.

She slipped her hands inside his shirt, feeling his heart beat fast under her palm, her other hand sliding down to feel hard muscles in his abdomen and she couldn't help licking her lips. She continued her downward exploration, moving her fingers over coarse hairs under his belly and feeling him twitch, then the cool touch of metal beneath her hand as she settled on his belt buckle.

She moved her hand lower still, rubbing his erection intently through his pants and he nearly whimpered.

He reached down between them to tug on the zipper of her cargo pants, slipping his hand inside her panties once he'd got them loose. "Oh, fuck, you're wet," he moaned.

She jumped slightly at the feel of his hand between her legs, lowered her lips to his throat and listened to the soft squishing of his fingers moving through her slick as he rubbed her.

"Damn, baby, you feel good," he murmured, leaning forward and slowly lowering her into the mattress.

"_Oh, you really want this!"_ A crueler voice leered in her mind.

"_No, I don't!"_ She screamed back in her head.

She squirmed beneath him, adjusting to his weight as he positioned himself on top of her, holding her wrists above her head with one hand, the other tugging her pants down. He kissed her neck slowly, whispering soft things in her ear.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he murmured, gently nuzzling her.

"_Slut! Dirty whore!"_ She sniffled loudly, letting out a soft sob.

"What's wrong?" he whispered against her chin.

"N-nothing," she whispered back. "Just… no one's ever said that to me before."

"It's tha truth," he insisted, moving a thigh between her legs. "So fuckin' soft," he said quietly as he trailed a hand from her breasts to her waist.

He pushed her knees apart with his leg as he leaned over her, reaching down to unzip his pants.

"_I'ma fuck you now, whore,"_ the cruel voice spat.

"_No!"_ her mind screamed.

"No!" she shouted, tugging her wrists free from his grasp and pushing against his chest. "No, no, get off me!"

"Sssh," he murmured, reaching to grasp her shoulders and hold her close. "Ssh, sssh, it's alright."

"No!" she shrieked. "Get off me. Get off!" She pulled herself from under him, adjusting the straps on her tank top.

"Hay, hay, Carol, it's me," he said quietly.

She looked up when someone threw the door open loudly, squinting through her tears.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

"It's fine, Rick," Daryl huffed. "She was just havin a bad dream."

Rick looked from Daryl to Carol, his eyes clearly demanding an explanation.

"It was a… nightmare," Carol choked, wiping at her face. She didn't look at either of them. "It felt so real."

Rick nodded. "I was afraid you were being attacked by a walker or something." He frowned. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," she insisted weakly.

He nodded again, looking at Daryl.

"I got 'er," Daryl said. "Go back ta sleep."

Rick turned back to Carol. "Alright then. You just holler if you need anything."

"Thank you," she whispered as he turned to go.

"Want me ta go too?" He asked, gazing at her out of the corner of his eye.

She shook her head, still sniffling.

"Ya sure?"

"It's not you," she cried. "I was just thinking about-"

"I know what you were thinkin' bout," he said in a low voice.

"I'm sorry," she whispered thickly.

He shook his head. "I wasn't- I would never…mmm." He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, covering his mouth with his hand. "That ain't me."

She nodded. "I know that. I know that," she whispered.

"I'ma go."

"No!" She cried, reaching for his hand. "No, don't! Just… just stay."

He clasped her fingers in his and she pulled him closer. "What you need me ta do?" He whispered.

"Just hold me," she whispered back.

He sat down slowly on the edge of the bed, patting his knee.

She crawled over to him, burying her face in his chest as his arms enveloped her. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you," she said softly. She sniffed. "Am I too broken for us to be together?"

"Hell no," he told her, tapping her chin up to look at him.

"Even if we can't have sex?"

He shook his head. "Truth is… I'm a little nervous too."

"You are?" She wrinkled her nose. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Ain't never been too good at this… affection stuff." He slowly dragged his fingers through her hair.

She nestled into him, closing her eyes as he slowly started to rock her. "You're much better than you think you are," she murmured.

He leaned back until his back was against the wall. "You too," he gruffed after a moment.

She smiled softly, listening to his heartbeat under her ear.

XXXXX

"He's in love with you, you know," Beth said conspiratorially, as she raised the water bottle to her friend's lips.

Carol took a long sip, raising an eyebrow. "Did he say that?"

"Well…no, not exactly. With Daryl, it's more about what he doesn't say."

Carol rolled her eyes, reaching for the orange on the table over her hospital bed.

"Man, I wish I could have a guy look at me like that one day."

Carol shrugged. "You've had a couple of boyfriends, haven't you? That Zack guy sure seemed to like you."

Beth sighed. "Me and Jimmy, we were real young when we started dating. I mean, all our friends had paired up and he was real nice. But it wasn't real love, you know?"

Carol nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"And Zack… I don't know. I really liked him. But I wonder if he really liked me."

"Well, I didn't know him that well, but I think he did," Carol said.

Beth's eyes lowered. "I know he liked me enough. I just wonder if he would've liked me if things were different. Like if we met before all this. Sometimes I just thought that maybe he only liked me because he had no choice. Like we were the only ones our age, you know?"

"I doubt that's true," Carol said.

Beth looked up at her questioningly.

"Well, what's not to like?" Carol insisted.

The younger girl grinned.

"Besides, everyone has a choice. And you don't need a man to validate you. Neither do I."

Beth nodded. "You're right. But still, it sure is nice with boys, sometimes huh?"

Carol smiled, shaking her head.

Beth giggled.


	6. Chapter 6: Game

Carol looked up to the top of the stairs, debating on whether or not to go up and see Maggie when she heard Daryl near the front door.

She leaned in the doorway just in time to see him pull his crossbow over his shoulder.

"How's your wife?" Abraham asked.

"My what?" Daryl grumbled, raising an eyebrow.

"We all heard the screamin' late last night. Figured that poor lady must be in a great deal of pain." He made what he obviously thought was a face of regret. "Just wonderin how's she's been doin since the hospital and all."

Daryl's eyes narrowed. "She's jus' fine." He turned and saw her watching him, his cheeks flushing a slight pink.

Just then, Tyreese appeared next to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Good morning, Carol."

She smiled softly. "Hi, Tyreese."

"Everythin ok?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Good," He said, gazing pointedly at Daryl.

Daryl huffed as he walked up to them. "Rick asked me ta go out real quick. You gonna be alright here?"

"I'll keep a eye on her," Tyreese said.

"Man, I didn't ask you," Daryl retorted.

Carol's eyes widened as she watched them.

"Just trying ta help," Tyreese muttered.

"Yeah, well I'll ask ya when I need ya help. Why you always hangin' around anyway, huh? You got a thing for Carol or somethin?"

Tyreese chuckled. "It ain't even like that. Why, you got a thing for Carol?"

"Man, shut up!"

"Alright, alright," Rick said, coming down the stairs. He looked at Carol. "Sasha says that shoulder's lookin much better. You think you're up to going out with Daryl? Getting some water and firewood? I know you can't do the chopping, but maybe you can help carry it back?"

Carol nodded gratefully. "Yeah. I could do that."

XXXXX

Carol sighed softly as she knelt by the stream, filling up gallon and two gallon cartons. She looked up when she heard Daryl's axe cease.

"That's about all that'll fit in tha car," He told her, leaning down with his hands on his knees to catch a breath.

Carol held out a bottle to him.

He reached into his back pocket for his handkerchief, dabbing at the sweat on his forehead. "Ol' Merle'd be makin' fun a me right now if he could see how outta shape I let myself get."

Carol shook her head. "You are not out of shape."

He knelt down next to her to wash his face, looking at all the cartons she'd already filled. "Alright. Rick definitely picked the fastest one for tha job."

She smiled, raising to lift two cartons. "It's all I can carry at once," she said.

He nodded. "Don't push ya'self," he said, looking up at her. "I'm just glad you're here ta help."

They were quiet for a moment as they shuffled supplies back to the car. After awhile he asked, "Hey, you had any brothers or sisters, before this shit went down?"

She looked at him curiously. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Just wonderin, I guess."

"My daddy died when I was really young. Mama remarried pretty quick. I had a sister. She was much younger, kind of like Maggie and Beth. She got cancer, though. Died way before all this." She waved with her hand.

He looked down. "I didn't know that."

She shrugged. "You didn't ask. How about you? Any siblings other than Merle?"

"Naw." He shook his head. "Don't matter. You're my family now."

Carol nodded. "And Rick, and Glenn… Maggie…" She turned to put the water in the car.

He stood up next to her. "Carol?"

"Hmm?"

"You say ya got… feelins for me?"

She paused. "Yeah?"

He huffed out a breath. "Like… how ya mean?"

She smiled, her cheeks flushing. "Beth called them butterfly feelings, back at the hospital."

"Butterflies?"

"Yeah, you know. Like, butterflies in your stomach, your throat, your head?"

He smirked, reaching to help her pick up the firewood.

She laughed, covering her face with her hands.

XXXXX


	7. Chapter 7: Confessions

Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed this so far, especially my repeat reviewers! This story really means a lot to me, and I'm so glad people are interested.

Carol shifted in her bed, holding her flashlight above her battered copy of Tom Sawyer. She heard grunting from the floor below and then saw his broad frame as he stood, the shadows from the dull light forming odd shapes on his face. "Go back to sleep," she told him quietly.

"What're ya doin?" Daryl asked, his voice slightly groggy.

She shrugged. "Just reading. I can't sleep, but that doesn't mean you have to stay awake."

He frowned. "Y'alright?"

She nodded. "I'm fine, I just can't sleep. I'm going to read some more."

He shuffled his foot into the floor. "If Beth were here, she'd sing ya a lullaby or somethin," he said softly with a faraway look in his eyes.

XXXXX

She was humming as she finished wrapping the bandage around Carol's shoulder, her long blonde ponytail brushing against her face.

"Sorry," she said, a little bashfully once she realized that Carol was watching her with a thoughtful expression on her face.

She shook her head. "No, go on. That's a familiar tune, isn't it? It's been awhile since I've heard you sing. Besides, there's something comforting about it."

"Mind if I continue? I mean, if we don't have the things we enjoy, then what do we have, right?"

She settled her head back against the pillow, nodding as she felt her eyes drooping. "I might fall asleep though."

"You're still a little loopy from the medication. It's alright," Beth said with a grin. After awhile she added softly, "Daryl let me sing him to sleep too."

"He did?" Carol asked with a sleepy smile.

"Yeah."

"That's nice," she said, giving into the heaviness in her eyelids as she finally registered the familiar tune the girl was crooning.

"Well she said baby, I still love you. Sometimes there's nothing left to do. You've got to hold on, hold on. You've got to hold on…."

She drifted off, remembering a tight grip on her hand, a desperately uttered, "You hold on."

All the while, Beth continued to sing, "Take my hand. I'm standing right here, you've got to hold on."

XXXXX

Carol smiled wistfully. "So why don't you sing?"

"Pfft." He huffed. "I ain't singin no fuckin songs."

She didn't say anything, just clicked off the flashlight, leaning back against the pillows.

"Hold on," Daryl said, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking the flashlight from her grasp. "I'll read to ya a lil bit, if ya want."

"Yeah?" She asked, stifling a yawn.

He shrugged. "If ya want," he repeated.

She patted the space next to her and he crawled under the sheets. She saw his eyes widen slightly at the title of the book, but he didn't comment, just flipped to the dog-eared page where she'd left off.

He placed an arm around her shoulders, his hand gripping the flashlight, the other holding the book open as he started to read aloud.

She settled into his embrace, the corner of her mouth twitching as she watched his finger follow along, barely taking note of the slight increase in the pace of his heartbeat against her cheek.

He paused a little after awhile, but she was too lazy to raise her head.

"Them butterflies ya were talkin' bout, yesterday?" He said softly.

"Yeah?" She answered, stifling a yawn.

"I get them too," He murmured.

Her eyes widened and she raised her head up to study his face. "Oh?"

He nodded, still looking at the page. "Like when I saw ya standin there, in the woods. And… right now."

"Okay," she whispered, shrinking back into his now stiff embrace.

He went back to reading and she tried to focus on the soft inflection of his quiet words.

XXXXX

When Carol's eyelids fluttered open, she was surprised to see Daryl still in the room.

"G'mornin," he mumbled, thumbing through the pages of her book from his perch on the floor.

"Good morning," she greeted, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "What time is it? I figured you'd be out hunting."

He stood. "It's six-thirty. Just got back. Was waitin for you, actually."

"You were?"

He nodded, reaching out a hand. "C'mon. I gotta show you somethin."

She took his hand, letting him pull her out of the room. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

They walked past Abraham and his group, eating breakfast in the living room with Tyreese, Sasha and Tara and she offered a small wave as they crossed paths.

She blinked once they were outside, giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden light.

"Found it this mornin, when I came back," He said, lightly urging her towards the back of the house.

She followed him eagerly and they walked down a short hill.

"What is it?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cherokee rose," He said, pointing to a small shrub. "Been growin there tha whole time." He bent down to pick one.

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, feeling hot tears starting to sting at the backs of her eyes.

He turned and closed the distance between them, gently pressing the flower he'd picked into her hand.

Her knees felt weak and she felt her legs start to give way underneath her as she began to sink to the ground.

"Carol?" He frowned with confusion, kneeling down to her level. "You okay?"

She shook her head so violently for a moment she thought the motion would cause her to vomit, right there over the shrub. Her shoulders shook and she braced her hands against the dirt as the tears started to fall.

"Carol!" He gripped her shoulders tightly in his hands, but she shrugged away.

"She was messed up," Carol said, her voice breaking on a sob. "I didn't see it, but she was messed up."

"Who?"

"Lizzie!" She cried.

"Talk ta me," he pleaded. He reached for her again and this time she braced her hands against his arm and let him pull her up.

She sniffed, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "She-she didn't understand. Thought when you're dead, you can just come back."

She looked up into his eyes, not really seeing through the steady stream of tears. "She k-killed Mika, and she would've killed J-judith too! Maybe more people."

"No." He shook his head, covering his mouth with one hand.

"I had to do something," she whispered.

"Oh, God," he muttered, leaning down with his hands on his knees. "No…"

"I-I k-k-killed…" she stopped, waiting for her sobs to cease.

He pulled her into his chest, his arms strong and tight around her shaking body. "'M sorry," he whispered into her hair.

She wrapped her arms around him, grabbing at his shoulders and crying into him. He was holding her so tight she could barely breathe, but somehow it wasn't tight enough.

"I killed her," she whispered. "I killed Lizzie. I told her to look at the flowers and I shot her in the back of the head."

He sighed, pulling her head back down against him. They were silent for awhile, just standing there holding each other. He started to rub her back as her sobs began to quiet. "I would've done it, so you didn't have to," He spoke after awhile.

She looked up at him, sniffling softly. The pain in his eyes mirrored her own and she couldn't help it. She reached her hands out, slowly cupping his face and then tilting her head back to cover his lips with her own.

He kissed her back, his embrace on her loosening only enough so he could grip her waist in both hands.

She leaned against him, pushing gently until his back was against a tree. It felt so good to be making out, wrapped up tight in his strong arms as his hand found a small sliver of bare skin between the waistband of her trousers and the hem of her worn shirt.

She ran her hands up and down his bare arms and he clumsily slipped his tongue into her mouth.

He was breathing heavily as they kissed and she raised her hands to his hair, her fingers softly stroking his scalp.

"Mmm, I like when ya do that," he murmured against her lips.

"I know," she whispered, lightly scratching his head.

"I mean I really like it," he breathed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back as she lowered her lips down his neck.

"I know," she repeated into his throat, gently pressing her body against him to feel his reaction.

He groaned softly as she nipped at his neck. "Hold on, I gotta stop a second," he murmured.

She nodded, easing off of him.

"Before this goes too far," he explained, watching her carefully as he moved away from the tree.

She nodded again. "We should go back inside. Rick will wonder where we went."

"Yeah." He took her hand, threading his fingers through hers.

"I think I want to read for awhile though," she said softly once they were back at the house.

"Alright. Ya want some company?" He stood in the doorway watching her as she settled cross-legged on the bed.

She motioned for him to come inside and he sat beside her, reaching for her book. "I remember this from school," he commented.

She didn't say anything.

"You were readin' this to tha kids, back at the prison?"

She nodded.

"Wanna read somethin' else? I'll go see if Glenn's got anythin," he mumbled.

"No." She shook her head. "I want to finish it first."

"Alright."

She placed her hand between them on the bed, her fingers unfolding to reveal the Cherokee rose he'd handed to her outside. "Thank you," she whispered, tracing the petals with a finger.

"I wanted ta bring her back," he said quietly, still looking down at her hand on the flower.

She raised her chin to look at his face.

"Sophia," he unnecessarily clarified. "I wanted ta bring her back to ya. So bad."

"I know," she whispered.

"I wanted ta be your hero."

He finally met her gaze and her throat felt thick again. "Daryl," she said, swallowing thickly as she reached for his hand. "You already are."

He raised her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly.

"Daryl," she whispered again, her heart pounding in her ears. "I want to have sex."


	8. Chapter 8: Rinse

He was looking back at her with a deer-caught-in-headlights expression on his face, his eyes wide and his mouth partially open in stunned silence.

"Unless you don't want to," she said quietly, fidgeting with the flower.

"Hell yeah I want to," He replied, studying her cautiously. The way he was looking at her did crazy things to the butterflies in her stomach.

"Okay," she whispered, placing her hand on his chest and leaning towards him to close the distance between them.

He caught her face in his hands, kissing her lips, softly at first and then more passionately as she started to let herself melt into his embrace.

He leaned back and she followed him until his back was against the mattress and she was half on top of him.

She slid her hand underneath the front of his shirt, feeling his warm stomach. The other hand let go of the flower in favor of raising to his head, her fingers threading through his hair.

She tugged, a little rougher than she'd intended and he let out a small growl as he moved his mouth down her neck.

He nibbled gently on her flesh, his teeth and tongue working at the spot under her ear and she couldn't help letting a soft moan escape her lips.

"You're really good at that," she breathed, tilting her head back. She felt him smile into her skin.

"More?" He asked, moving lower still to suck on her collar bone.

She nodded, closing her eyes and shifting her body over him.

His fingers began to unbutton her shirt and she reached back to help him unhook her bra, the thought of his rough hands all over her body sending a thrill through her.

"This alright?" He asked, ghosting his fingers up from her waist until his hands were brushing the sides of her breasts.

"Yeah," she breathed, shivering slightly as he lowered his head.

He kissed across her chest, his hand moving over one breast while his mouth devoured the other. She moaned softly as his tongue lapped at her nipples.

He moved his mouth back to her neck, nibbling and sucking intently as both hands worked her breasts.

"Damn," she breathed, shifting her legs as she felt a growing tingle between them.

"Want me ta go down on ya?" He whispered, licking at her earlobe.

"What? No!" She said, moving upright, her hands braced against his chest. "No… I… I don't know."

"Alright," he said, kissing the other side of her neck.

"I've never… done that before," she admitted.

He nodded. "Ya seemed ta like it alright on your tits."

"I…. you like doing that?"

He shrugged. "I like turnin ya on. Just want a lil taste."

She thought she felt herself grow wetter just from the way he said those words.

"I'll stop if ya don't like it," he promised, moving from underneath her. "But if you do, ya'd better hold onta somethin."

She nodded, letting him ease her into the bed.

"Trust me," he whispered, gently tugging her to the end of the mattress.

"I do trust you," she whispered back, sighing softly as he moved his hand across her quivering stomach.

He kissed down her ribs as he flicked the button of her pants open, slowly tugging the zipper down as he dipped his tongue into her navel.

She raised her hips, helping as he slid her pants down her legs. He slipped his hand into her panties, groaned at how wet she was. "Fuck," he murmured, lowering his head and kissing her thighs as he slid her underwear off.

She blushed when she caught his eyes looking her up and down, just for a second.

"Gotta spread your legs a lot wider," he told her, gently caressing her thighs with his fingers and being careful not to push her legs apart.

He sank down, kneeling on the floor as she obliged. He ducked his head between her thighs, his tongue darting out to taste her.

Her hips jumped off the bed at the first feel of his mouth on her and she gasped.

"Easy," he murmured, caressing her belly soothingly as he lowered his head again. His tongue slid along the length of her wet slit and she moaned deeply as he began to lick into her folds.

"Oh, God!" She cried as he worked his mouth in sinful ways on her sex. She reached down to hold his head and he began to lick more vigorously.

She tilted her hips and he took the hint, sucking her swollen clit into his mouth.

"Aaaah," she moaned, her hips bucking involuntarily.

He plunged his tongue inside her, licking greedily before his lips found her clit again.

She gripped the edge of the bed tightly with both hands as she felt herself begin to flutter and he pushed two fingers into her, pumping with a steady rhythm as he sucked her clit until she came hard against his mouth.

"Holy shit," he groaned, wiping his face and chin on his sleeve as she whimpered softly. "You're so fuckin sexy."

"I-I've never come like that," she gasped, trying to catch her breath.

He laid down next to her on the bed, pulling her close to him. "Wanna make ya go again. Alright?"

Her eyes were wide, her pupils dark with desire.

"Anybody ever make ya come twice?" He asked, nuzzling her bare shoulder.

She shook her head.

"C'mere," he said, reaching his hand down between her legs. He slipped his middle finger in her first, then added his index finger. "That feel good, baby?"

"Oh yeah," she said as her body reacted to his rhythm.

"You're fuckin soaked. Should have no problems with my dick in you," he murmured, pressing his mouth against her neck. His thumb found her clit, rubbing intently as he pushed his fingers in and out of her sex.

She cried out as her muscles pulsated around his fingers, her hips thrusting as she rode out her second orgasm.

"Hell yeah," he murmured.

"God, Daryl," she moaned. She reached out to unzip his pants. "What do you want me to do to you?"

"Mmmmm," he groaned, his cock twitching as she gripped him through his pants. "Wouldn't mind you returnin the favor…"

She bit her lip.

"Don't gotta do it if ya don't want."

"It's not that, I just… I've never been very good at that," she whispered.

"Can I be tha judge?" he asked, clearly hopeful.

"I can try," she said, rising up on her knees and moving to straddle him.

He leaned back as she pulled his pants off of him, groaning at the feel of her hand wrapped around his dick. She started at his mouth, kissing him filthily and letting her tongue trail down his throat.

She kissed the tattoo on his chest, her teeth nipping at his ribs briefly before she began to kiss down his stomach.

He groaned, already squirming when he felt his dick squished against her tits as she bent over him to lick sensually down his abs.

She guided him into her mouth with her hand, her tongue sliding up and down his length before she gripped him between her lips.

"Fuck," he moaned as she swirled her tongue around his tip. He grabbed at the headboard to keep from holding her head as she went up and down his length, his eyes rolling back at how good it felt.

She raised her other hand up to squeeze his balls as she sucked him in and out of her mouth in a steady rhythm and he nearly whimpered.

Before long, he moved his hands down to her face, gently easing her off his cock.

"I'm sorry. I told you I'd probably be bad at it," she said quietly.

He shook his head furiously. "Are you kiddin? That was fuckin amazin. A second longer and this'll all be over."

"Oh," she said, looking up into his dark eyes.

"C'mere," he said, cupping her chin and pulling her towards him for a kiss.

She leaned into him, kissing him back eagerly and tangling her fingers in his hair. "I think you're wearing too many clothes," she whispered, slipping his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders.

"Hold on," he said, reaching for the thin blanket.

"No," she insisted, pulling his hand away. "You're beautiful too."

His cheeks flushed at her light scrutiny and he ducked his head when he felt her hands on his back.

"And we all have something about our bodies we're not proud of, right?"

He nodded, closing his eyes as she kissed down his back, her soft lips soothing uneven flesh. "All better," he said softly, his voice catching.

"Really?" She asked, crawling into his lap.

"Pretty damn close," he breathed, his mouth seeking hers. "The things I feel for you," he murmured, stroking a finger down her cheek. His eyes got teary when he noted the fading bruises on her right side.

"Me too," she whispered.

"Carol," he choked out. "When I saw ya get hit by that car…"

She shook her head, placing a finger against his lips.

"I just need ya, that's all," he said, blinking back tears.

She nodded. "Me too," she repeated, embracing him fiercely.

"Gonna make love to ya," he whispered, pushing her hair back. "Alright?"

She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak.

"Relax," he said, lowering her slowly into the mattress. "Ain't gonna hurt ya."

She pulled him down with her, trying to blink back the flicker of fear in her eyes.

"You just tell me if ya want me ta stop," he murmured, his voice husky as he positioned himself over her.

"Don't stop," she breathed, spreading her legs for him.

He reached a hand down between them to guide himself into her and she squeezed her eyes shut. "Hay, look at me," he whispered, watching her face to make sure she was okay. "It's just us. Alright? Just me an you."

She nodded, her fingers gripping his arms tightly as he pushed into her and she whimpered softly at the slight sting between her legs.

"Ssssh," he murmured, nuzzling her face and stroking her hair. "Just relax. Don't fight me."

He moved slowly, pushing deeper until he was all the way in and she groaned as her body adjusted to the feel of him. "Mmmm…" she murmured. "That's starting to feel… ungh…"

She moved her hands all over his body, up his shoulders, down his back, over his ass as he thrusted into her.

"Shit," he moaned. He was shaking, and it took her a second to realize that she was shaking too.

"Oh, God," she murmured.

He moved his hips and she cried out. "I ain't gonna last long."

His breathing was heavy as she slowly began to push back against him. "Try," she pleaded.

He thrusted deeper into her and she moaned loudly, his strong hands touching all over her body. He leaned down to kiss her and she was glad to have his lips muffle her deep moans of pleasure as they moved together.

"F-fuck," he groaned. "You feel so good, baby."

"You too," she whispered against his lips. She raised her legs up on his hips and he thrust deep inside her.

"Mmm, right there," she moaned.

"Oh yeah?" he murmured, kissing down her chin. "That your spot?" He asked, hitting it just right.

"H-holy shit, yes," she cried, her body trembling with her need for him. "Oh, God, Daryl, please don't stop!"

"Oh, baby," he groaned as he increased the pace.

She moved her hands over his back, her nails digging into his shoulders as she neared another intense orgasm. "Oh yes, yes," she encouraged.

He grunted softly, his mouth hot and wet on her face and neck, his hands everywhere.

"Oh, Daryl," she moaned as she came hard a third time.

"Shit, Carol," he choked, grunting as he spilled into her before her spasms even stopped.

He bit down hard on her neck, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

She felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks and she moved to cover her face.

"Shit, don't cry, baby," he murmured, reaching out to touch her face.

"It's not bad, I just… I just…"

"I know," he whispered, kissing her softly as he pulled out of her. "C'mere."

He pulled her against his chest and she snuggled into him, savoring the warmth of his naked body.

"You okay?" He asked, placing gentle kisses on her shoulder.

"Yeah," she breathed. "Are you?"

"Oh yeah," He answered. "I haven't been this okay in a real long time."

She grinned, reaching up to push his hair back from his face. "I probably don't want to know how you learned about that tongue thing."

He chuckled. "Actually, that's the first time I ever done that to a woman."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said, rubbing his fingers in lazy circles on her back. "Internet. Guess I had way too much time on my hands," he mumbled.

She laughed. "Wow. I haven't thought about how it used to be in forever."

"Hmmm."

She ruffled his hair playfully. "You know, if it was still like that? I'd be sending you flirty texts all along."

He smiled, leaning into her touch. "Oh yeah? Well, I'd be textin back, beggin ya for dirty pictures."

"Stop," she said, swatting his arm as her cheeks flushed pink.

"Hell no," he said, propping himself up on his arm to look at her. "You're fuckin sexy."

She pulled his face down for a long, slow kiss. "You're my man," she told him, running her hands over the uneven skin on his back.

He ducked his head down somewhat shyly, smiling into her shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9: Repeat

The first rays of morning light from the sun were peeking through the closed blinds when she woke up. Daryl was yawning ungracefully and stretching beside her, half of his body pressed up against her. At some point during the night, she'd pulled on her tank top and panties, but he was still gloriously naked.

"Good morning," she said, reaching out and smoothing his hair with her fingers.

"Mmmm," he replied contentedly. "'Mornin." He kissed her hand, capturing her fingers between his lips and she felt a tingle run through her.

"Ya doin good?" He asked, unceremoniously rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Yeah," she said, smiling sweetly as he nuzzled her.

He nodded. "Well," he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his features. "Guess ya can cross fuckin Daryl Dixon off yer bucket list."

She moved to swat at him playfully with her hand, but he teasingly caught her wrist, leaning over her, eyes clear and sparkling.

"Alright?" He asked.

"Yeah," she said again. She gazed up at him, taking in his delighted expression and playful smile. It was almost….

"Daryl," she said. "Are you… happy?"

He thought for a moment, gazing back at her. "Honestly?" He replied, propping himself up on an elbow. "Right now… I think I'm happier than I ever been in ma life."

She nodded thoughtfully, taking in his response.

"How bout you? Ya happy?"

She looked at his face, taking in the way he was slowly chewing his bottom lip and knowing full well that he was really asking her if he made her happy.

"Yes," she said quietly, sliding a hand up his chin. "Is that-is that okay?"

He nodded. "I think so."

"I mean… how can it be okay for me to feel like this, when so many bad, terrible things have happened? How can-"

"Because you're alive," he told her, cutting her off.

She sighed, touching a finger to his lips. "How can I be okay with feeling like this when I've done some of those bad things, when you have too? All of us?"

He frowned, settling back against the pillows. "W' on't ya stop focusin on who ya were, who ya thought ya should be…. And start focusin on who ya wanna be?"

She thought for a moment, nodding slowly. "Right now, I feel like… like I just want you."

His eyes were slightly darker when he looked back at her. "Well, then I guess ya'd better c'mere," he said, moving to pull her on top of him.

He kissed her slowly, his hands rising to cup her face. She moved her hands through his hair, deliberately scraping her nails against his scalp and he groaned into her mouth.

She moved her mouth down his jaw, stopping to suck on his neck and listen to his breathing pick up as she kissed him.

He pushed her tank top up under her armpits as they kissed, exposing her breasts to his strong, knowing hands.

She moaned softly as he teased her nipples with his thumbs, his palms moving over her curves.

"Okay?" He asked, his voice a little raspy.

"Mmmhmmm," she said, closing her eyes. She began to slowly rock her hips and she could feel him hard between her legs, the thin material of her underwear leaving little to the imagination.

He moved his hands down to her hips, tracing the lacy material with a heavy finger. "Wanna feel you, down there," He said gruffly, and she thought she would cream on the spot. "Alright?"

She nodded, and cried out softly as he slid his hand inside her panties.

"Shit, girl. You get so fuckin wet," he nearly whined, slipping two fingers into her tight heat.

"Ugnhhhhh," she moaned as her body responded to his advances. "It's only cause of you," she whispered. "You make me so fuckin wet."

"Oh yeah?" He said, pushing his fingers deeper as he pleasured her.

She ground down on his hand, biting her lip. He lowered his head to her breasts, licking her nipples and sucking them into his mouth as he fingered her.

She moaned again and he felt her inner muscles clench around his fingers. "Like that, baby girl?" He asked huskily, sucking her earlobe into his mouth and kissing on her neck.

"D-Daryl," she moaned.

"That's right, baby," he whispered, increasing the pace as he slid his soaked fingers in and out of her sex. "You gonna come for me?"

"Oh-oooooh," she moaned as she felt herself begin to flutter. Then she cried out, "Oh, Daryl!" as she came.

She slipped a hand between them, reaching for his hard dick and taking a firm grasp as she began to jerk him slowly.

"Hell yeah," he groaned, his cock twitching in her grip as she flicked her thumb across his already moistened tip. "Damn, you really know how ta touch me."

She watched his face as she went up and down his length, eyes closed and mouth partially open as his breathing grew heavier. She reached her other hand out to stroke his hair.

"Shit, Carol. I want you so bad," he murmured.

"Then take me," she whispered.

He opened his eyes to look at her, his hands already at her hips and sliding her panties down. He growled softly when he felt her slick on his belly, grabbed her waist and held her in place to steady her as she slowly eased herself onto his cock.

He slid in easily and she cried out.

"You okay?" He asked gently, reaching up to touch her face.

"Mmmm," she moaned as she sank down onto him. "Are you?"

"More than okay," he whispered, his eyes getting that glittery look again.

She slowly began to rock her hips, moaning softly at how good he felt inside her.

He matched her pace, thrusting up into her, his hands wandering over her body.

She leaned over him, ducking her head to kiss him and he kissed her back eagerly, all tongue and teeth and warm lips invading her senses.

Without warning, he flipped them over, one hand wrapped around her back as he lowered her into the mattress and she yelped in surprise.

"Sssh," he murmured, pushing into her slowly. "C'mere, sweetheart. It's alright. Feels good, don't it?"

"Oh, yessss," she moaned, gasping at the deeper angle.

"Ain't gonna last much longer. Want ya ta feel it. Help me find your spot," He grunted. He rolled his hips, thrusting deep into her and she cried out.

"Right there, Daryl, please-"

"Oh, God," he groaned, picking up the pace as he moved between her legs. "Say my name again."

"Daryl," she moaned. "Ungggghhh, that feels good, Daryl, don't stop."

He growled, the mattress creaking as he pounded into her, and she whimpered softly as he hit her spot, over and over again.

"Oh, God, Daryl…..D-Daryl, please, I can't….Oooooohhhhhh," She felt her legs begin to shake violently and he clamped a hand over her mouth as she screamed and shuddered through the most intense orgasm she'd ever experienced.

He grunted loudly, and she felt a fresh gush of wetness as he spilled into her with one sharp, final thrust.

"Oh, my," she said softly, squeezing her thighs together at the aftershocks.

"F-fuck," he murmured, wiping the small beads of sweat from his mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry…. I-I didn't mean ta lose control like that, I…"

"No," she stated, shaking her head firmly. "Don't be sorry. That was… something else."

"Carol, I…"

She kissed him, hard, her hands snaking into his hair, and he pushed himself flush against her as he kissed her back, his hands caressing her face and neck.

"Daryl," she breathed, craving him like never before when he pulled away. His eyes were still wide and shining, only this time there was a flicker of fear in his expression that she thought she finally understood.

"Daryl?" she asked, reaching for him, desperate to have him close again.

He nuzzled her face with his, moving his body over hers and holding her shoulders steady with his hands. "I f-f-fuck…I fuckin' love ya," he whispered.

He gasped as soon as he said the words, as if it had taken him by as much surprise as it had her, and he stilled instantly, his body tense where he was pressed up against her.

"Oh," she breathed, her hands steady on his chest, her eyes just as wide. "I love you too," she whispered, moving to hold him close and he sighed softly, almost in relief as his face sunk into her chest.

"So, so much," she added, her fingers gently stroking his hair. "I always have."

He was shaking, and she wondered for a second if he was panicking, but then she felt him smile into her skin as he pressed a series of kisses into her shoulder.

"Always will?" He asked, a flicker of that lost puppy lurking behind his eyes for a split second and she gripped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"Hell yeah," she said, offering him a sweet smile as she stroked her fingers through the coarse hairs on his chin.

He smiled back, a wide, honest smile and she thought in that moment that she'd never felt more alive than she did right now.


	10. Chapter 10: Discovery

She made her way over to where Rick was standing idly by a tree at the edge of the woods, looking out at the group.

" What are you doing all the way over here, by yourself?" She asked, handing him a bottle of water. He took the bottle, drinking deeply for a moment and squinting in the dark.

"Hey, Carol."

"Somethin on your mind?" She gently prodded.

"Just thinking bout them. Always about them. And you. And what's best for the group."

She moved to stand beside him and he looked straight ahead instead of looking at her. "Rick-"

"You're family. You're my family, and I want you here."

She sighed.

"I know you been thinkin bout leavin us. Just know that if you stay, I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you. That's what we do, right? We protect each other."

"Right," she said softly. He still wasn't looking at her, and she followed his gaze to where Daryl and Tyreese were poking firewood in the pit they'd dug.

"Things're different now," he continued.

"That's an understatement," she said.

He finally turned to face her, his blue eyes boring into hers. "You know the others, they want you here too. Michonne wants you here. Carl, Glenn, Tyreese… they all want you here. Beth, she would want you here too. "

His voice dropped low. "I want you here. But him?" Rick pointed straight ahead. "He needs you here."

She turned to face the group, still some distance away and Daryl looked up when he felt her eyes on him. His face broke out into a grin and he waved.

"I know." She grinned back at his shy little wave, remembering how sure and confident his hands had been when they were on her body only a few hours ago, and she shivered.

"And I've already made my choice," she added, blowing him a kiss. His face flushed and he went back to his work, stumbling slightly.

"You know, I've been thinking…" Rick continued.

She turned to look at him, her brow furrowed.

"I think it's time to leave this place."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hands.

"Now just hear me out a second. I know, we got it good here. But we all know we can't stay here forever, and I think it's time to move on. Now. While it's our choice."

She slung an arm around his shoulder, hugging him close and pressing a soft kiss into his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for always taking care of us, and for letting us take care of you."

He leaned his head against hers for a moment, savoring the tender gesture before gently nudging her forward.

By now, more people had settled down around the small fire and she looked up to find Glenn and Maggie stepping gingerly down the concrete steps to join them.

She debated inwardly for a moment on whether or not to directly go up to the younger woman, trying to think of something to say, when Daryl stepped forward, pulling something out of his back pocket and handing it to her.

"Found this back at the place we were holed up in. She left it there, b'fore she was taken. Figured you should have it."

Carol's eyes widened in surprise when she recognized the hand decorated cover of Beth's diary. Her gaze darted over at Maggie, who was obviously taking it in.

"Thank you," she managed finally. She looked like she wanted to add something else, but was unsure of what to say. After a moment, she handed it back to Daryl. "Read it," she said firmly.

"Me?" He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets, his expression once again resembling that little lost puppy. "I –can't, I don't-"

"I'll read it." The words felt alien, and for a moment she couldn't believe that they'd come out of her mouth.

Maggie raised an eyebrow at her expectantly.

"I'll read it," she repeated again, with more conviction.


	11. Chapter 11: Beth's Diary

All eyes turned to settle on her as she sat down near the campfire. She held out her hand to Maggie, who wordlessly placed Beth's diary in her hands. She paused for a moment, flipping through the pages as they all settled down around the fire. All of them gathered around to listen- Rick, with Judith in his lap and Carl by his side, Tyreese and Sasha, holding hands as they sat, Michonne sitting off to the side with Gabriel and Noah, Daryl selecting a spot near Rick, even Abraham, sitting between Eugene and Rosita.

She waited for Maggie and Glenn to find their places, with Tara joining them before she selected a passage. She took a deep breath as the words on the page came into focus, and then she softly began to read:

_It's funny that I'm writing while I'm here, in this place. I guess this is the last entry I'll ever write, mostly because it's the last page left. Maybe I can find a new diary once Carol and I get out of here. Because we will get out of here. Seeing her again, I just know that this isn't forever. Better make this count._

_I worry about Carol, and I just want her to wake up. I mean, I know she's already awake, but it's like she still hasn't "woken up." Like she's someone else for the moment, not fully awake. And I guess it's fine, if she has to be someone else for now. Sometimes we have to lose ourselves before we can find ourselves again, I know that. And I know she will. She'll walk out of here, and she'll start healing. It'll be better once she's with Daryl and the others. Her injuries will heal, and her spirit will heal, and she'll come out of this stronger than she didn't know she was before. _

_Being with Carol here, it's got me thinking about the rest of the family. I didn't want to let myself hope that I'd see them again, but that doesn't mean that I'm not always thinking of them. _

_I think about Bob, and how smart he is. I know he'll get people to listen to him._

_I think about Sasha, and how resourceful she is, and I know she'll pull it all together. _

_I think about Michonne. I miss her sense of humor and her steadiness. And I know that wherever she is, she'll make it okay. _

_I worry about Carl. Growing up, in this life, I don't want him to lose who he is. Not like how I almost did. Mostly I just want him to be happy, and to not grow up too fast. To be happy, and stay happy._

_It's the same with Judith. I think about Judith all the time. I wonder if she'd remember me, if I ever saw her again. I worry about where she ended up, after the prison, and I just have so much hope that she'll find herself with her family again._

_Let's face it, if anyone's going to be reunited, it'd be the Grimes family, right? Rick is meant to be with his children. _

_I think about Rick and how many times he's saved us, how many times he's made the impossible, possible. Rick will be the one to change this world. And maybe it can't ever be how it was, but I still believe in Rick. I believe he'll make a difference, and a good one at that. This world can be better. We can be better. I still believe that._

_I think about Tyreese and how angry he can be. I hope that he doesn't ever let that anger control him. I hope he can stay the warm, gentle soul that I know he is. _

_I worry about Glenn, because he was sick. I have so many questions, like did he make it out okay? Was the medicine enough to help him hold on, just a little bit longer? And I have to have faith that the answer is yes. I hope that no matter what else, he's with Maggie. _

_Maggie. I guess I really don't know if I'll ever see her again. But wherever she is, I know she's going to be just fine. My sister is strong, not just the physical strong you have to be when you're going to fight. I mean strong where it counts- in her mind, her heart, and her spirit. Maggie's a fighter, and she'll always be a fighter. The more I think about it, the more I know that she'll make things okay. _

_I don't worry about Daryl, not anymore. He's shown us all a lot, but we've all taught him something too. He says he ain't scared of nothing, but I know that's not the truth. And maybe that's okay. Maybe it's okay for all of us to be a little scared sometimes. I mean, in this world we live in, what else is there to keep us who we are? _

Carol finished, closing the book loudly. "That's all there is," she said in a small voice.

She looked around the campfire to see the faces of her family, all lost in thought. Maggie stood up first, then Glenn. Daryl was sitting across from her, with his shoulders all hunched into himself like she'd seen many times before. She slowly made her way over to him, quiet under the crackle of the fire.

"Are you okay?" She asked, kneeling down and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged, still looking into the flames. "Member when ya said, everythin consumes you?"

She nodded, waited patiently for him to continue. All around them, people were silently packing it up for the night, except for Maggie and Glenn, who were still just standing there.

"I felt that way, once since all this."

"What changed your mind?" She asked softly, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear.

He finally turned to look at her. "She burned it all down."

Carol nodded again, reaching out a hand to help him up.

He took it, and she nearly stumbled forward, not expecting him to put so much weight on her as he stood. "She…. she was a good girl," He mumbled.

"Yeah," Carol replied, rubbing a tear from her eye. "She was."

He took the journal from her, wordlessly walked over to Maggie and nudged her with it.

Glenn stepped forward, but Maggie held up her arm in front of him, her other hand reaching for the diary.

"Thank you," she whispered. She slowly ran her fingers over the cover, closing her eyes for a moment.

Daryl rested his hand on Carol's shoulder, gently ushering her towards the house.

She started to comply, then thought she saw a sudden movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up just in time to see Maggie hurl the diary into the flames.


	12. Chapter 12: Next Move

"Carol?"

She looked up from her perch on the bed to see Carl standing in the doorway. "Carl! What are you doing, honey? Shouldn't you be packing your bag? Your dad says we're leaving as soon as the truck's loaded."

Carl waved a hand. "My stuff's already in the truck. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Carol gave him a gentle smile. "I'm doing fine. Just reading a bit til Daryl comes back in."

He frowned. "Tom Sawyer? Isn't that what you were reading back at the prison?"

She nodded. "I still haven't had a chance to finish it, though."

"Oh. Well, I was just… hoping we could talk."

"Of course." She stood, setting the book down on the mattress. "What's on your mind?"

"Well… I was just thinking. Remember how you said that my mom was in heaven, with Sophia?"

"Yes…" She started, cautiously.

"I guess… Hershel must be there too, right? And-and Beth? She's in heaven, right? With my mom, and your daughter, and her father?"

Carol shook her head slowly.

"You still believe that, right?"

"Honestly," she said with a soft sigh. "I don't know what I believe anymore. But, I can't imagine that she'd be in any other place." She smiled a tight smile.

"Okay. And those things that she said, about wanting us to be happy? Do you think she was happy?" His eyes were round and wide as he looked up at her, with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Yes, I do," Carol answered solemnly. "She had so much faith, in all of us, don't forget. And I know, that wherever she is, she's happy to know that we're all together. Now, you remember your friend however you want, but don't you ever forget that."

He nodded, throwing his arms around her waist. "Thanks, Carol. I'm really glad you're back."

Carol hugged him tightly to her chest. "Me too, honey. Me too."

XXXXX

"C'mon, truck's all set," Daryl said, ducking through the door. He stopped when he saw her close the book. "Ya finish it yet?"

She nodded, reaching for her bag. "Just did."

"Takin it with ya?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm gonna leave it here."

She set the book down at the edge of the bed, then reached under the covers and pulled out the crumpled Cherokee Rose.

He snorted. "Poor flower."

The corners of her mouth tugged up into a small smile. "After all this flower has been through, all the petals are still intact." She looked up at him. "I'm taking it."

"Really?"

She smoothed out the leaves and held it up. "Yeah."

"Alright." He held out his hand to help her lift her backpack, accidentally knocking it out of her grasp as he did.

She bent down to gather her belongings.

"Shit, 'm sorry," He muttered, crouching next to her and shoving stuff back in the bag. He froze when he touched a small strip of leather.

"Hmmm," Carol said, picking it up and examining it. It was a leather band with a silver sideways cross, a bracelet that had belonged to their friend. "It must've fallen into my backpack when she helped me pack my things, back at Grady. I didn't even know I had it, all this time…"

She looked up to find him hunched over and teary-eyed, his lower lip trembling. Without hesitation, she hugged him close and he whimpered softly into her shoulder.

"F-fuck…. I miss her," he choked. "So much."

"I know," she whispered. "Me too."

She reached out her hands, tying the small cuff around his right wrist until the cross was pressed into his skin. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

He nodded, following her as she headed out of the room and out of the house.

Once they were outside, Tyreese placed Judith in Carol's arms for a moment so he could help Sasha and Tara up.

Carol adjusted the baby's weight on her hip, bouncing her slightly. "Da!" Judith yelled confidently, pointing towards Rick.

"Whaaa?" Daryl asked, eyes wide.

"Da! Dada!" She repeated, clapping her hands.

"Yes," Carol said, laughing. "That's your daddy."

Judith giggled wildly as Rick rushed over and scooped her up into his arms. "Dadadadadadada."

Carol sighed, wiping away tears that she didn't know had leaked as she watched Rick repeatedly kiss Judith on the top of her head.

Carl grabbed at her wiggling legs, impatiently waiting his turn with his baby sister as everyone celebrated with hoots and hollers.

She smiled widely, looking up into Daryl's eyes to find him smiling too.

XXXXX

"Come on everyone, let's go!" Abraham shouted, already in the driver's seat while people were still filing in.

She knew without looking that Daryl was behind her, patiently waiting for everyone else to get settled before they moved.

"Rick says we're headed towards Virginia," She said softly. "I think we all just need a change."

"I-I've never been outta Georgia," He stuttered, sniffing a little.

She turned back, taking his hand and squeezing it. "It'll be okay," she promised. He didn't let go of her hand as they walked, a little unsurely, towards the truck.

XXXXX

"I get it, you're scared," Beth said. "I am too. But it's going to be just fine, you'll see."


End file.
